Christina Ricci, cute as a pixie

It seems Christina Ricci’s been around forever. I remember her in the Addams Family. That was a fine piece of cinematic glory. Interesting note: She’s Trixie in the new Speed Racer movie. Hard to believe she’s almost 30! Unlike the rest of young Hollywood, she’s stayed out of the gossip columns. No drugs, no crotch shots, no issues besides a past eating disorder and sending nude shots of herself to directors. She’s also the National Spokesperson for the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN). Hmmm…hard to joke about, so let’s all commend her.

Even better than all that, she’s figured out a way to cover up that landing pad of a forehead. Just like the Great Wall, it’s possible to see that thing from outer space. How will the aliens land now? That was their lighthouse and now it’s gone. How do I know? The voices told me so. *points to forehead* – Captain Swarthy