Brittany Murphy has been pretty demanding on the set of her new movie Across the Hall. Afflicted by 24/7 PMS, Brittany is annoying everyone on set. Meanwhile, her husband has been “lurking” around the set like a creepy specter. Page Six says:
She’s extremely difficult. When she gets to the set, it comes to a grinding halt. She’s so hot and cold, you never know.” According to our sources, Murphy insists on having diagonally cut peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with the crusts removed. “She needs one every hour. It’s painstaking – her assistant takes about a half an hour making each one,”
Who’s more retarded, Brittany Murphy or her assistant who takes 30 minutes to make a crust-less, diagonally cut PB&J? I can understand if she’s lacing it with laxatives, but… oh, that is what she’s doing? Carry on then.
See how many peanut butter sandwiches she eats after a little Capt Cornhole therapy:
Locate:
5lb tub of extra chunky peanut butter
Grease gun with several empty tubes
Fill the empty grease tubes with the peanut butter
Insert the business end of the grease gun up her cornhole
Pump away!!!! (the fun part)
Pump her colon full of that peanut butter
In the days that follow, she’ll most certainly turn a pale green just seeing a peanut butter sandwich.
After a few days her s**t will look like partially chewed Reeses peanut butter cups.
If my assistant took 30 minutes to make a PB&J, I’d be a raving bitch too. If I had an assistant. And a vagina.