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A criminal investigation is being launched into the fight Brad Garrett had with a photog last night. Garrett left Dan Tana’s restaurant when paparazzi started snapping photos of the lumbering giant. Eventually, Garrett had enough and hit one of the photog’s camera. Garrett then tried to instigate a fight. There were no takers but TMZ says one paparazzo called him a “tall faggot.”

It’s a good idea no one volunteered to fight this guy. He’s pretty tall and normal tactics like kicking him in the nuts won’t work. His crotch is six feet off the ground. Your best bet is to go with pure boxing because you’d be going one on one with his genitals. You could get maybe three or four good shots in before his big ass hand shoots down from the heavens and grabs you by the head like one of those stuffed animal claw games.