Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz See a Show

Pete Wentz had a little heart to heart with Ryan Seacrest on his show about the origins of his baby’s name, Bronx Mowgli. Pete explains that the public doesn’t know the real story and that he thinks it’s cool to leave the narrative the way it is. Pete, refusing to admit he and Ashlee chose Bronx because it sounded tough enough to offset Mowgli, continued:

“We came up with the idea Bronx, we’d been throwing it back and forth a while ago,” he says. As for the origin of the middle name? “The Jungle Book is something me and Ashlee bonded over. It’s really cool.”

I’m inspired. I’ve already started a list of names for my future children that will give them a 100% chance to be beat up in school. I think my son will come to appreciate being named Barbie Collector.

As for the birth, Pete was every bit the pussy you thought he’d be.

“She’s pretty much a saint. Right before she went into labor, I was pretty much like, ‘Oh my god, I think I’m having a heart attack.’ She took care of me and made sure I was OK,” he said, even though she was in “all this pain.”

I pray for this kid. While all the other kids will be throwing baseball like real men, Mowgli will be rolling the ball to first because daddy said throwing is dangerous which is really just an excuse to hide the fact that Pete has a limp wrist and every time he throws something, a laugh track goes off.