Ashlee Simpson

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are coming to the stark realization that their baby, Bronx Mowgli, is worth less than the vagina it came out of. Page Six reports:

“Pete and Ashlee have approached every single celebrity magazine with offers to sell their first photos, but nobody wants them. Covers of them tend not to sell well.” A rep for Simpson denied it.

Chalk this up to the fact that a baby wearing eyeliner and hot pants is not cute. Actually, it’s kind of gay. I mean, was his wrist always limp like that or did he learn from Pete. Also, trying to convince editors that the “awws” you hear from strangers is because your baby is adorable and not because they feel sorry for the kid won’t work.