Nicky Hilton is a hero

Nicky Hilton had shuffled her bony ass over to IHOP in West Hollywood at 5:00 a.m. this morning when she was shoved to the ground by a transient. Nicky wasn’t having any of that so she made a citizen’s arrest. She kept the guy tied up while cops arrived. When police took the guy away, he claimed he was Nicky’s boyfriend.

Nicky Hilton can barely hold down food and you expect me to believe she subdued a homeless guy? You could blow on Nicky Hilton and shatter her femur. The only way this makes sense is if what really happened was Nicky drove drunk to IHOP, fell asleep at the wheel, pinned a transient to the wall with her car and the cops came. If that’s what they mean by “held down,” then yea, okay, I believe it.