jean-claude-van-damme

Update: Maybe not?

The always inappropriate and handsy Jean-Claude Van Damme suffered a minor heart attack in New Orleans on Tuesday. Van Damme was on set filming Weapon when he collapsed, only one day after turning 50. Jean-Claude’s reps say he’s okay but filming has been put on hold.

Three things I have learned from Van Damme movies. One: Van Damme will seek revenge on his heart for giving out on him. Two: there will be a stylized montage of him training and flexing his muscles. Three: at some point, they will have a prolonged sex scene as indicated in Van Damme’s contract. His cowardly heart better watch its back.