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Ben Affleck is a bigger failure than previously believed

Ben Affleck

Even though Ben Affleck is now a successful actor with films like Daredevil, Gigli, Jersey Girl and Pearl Harbor under his belt, his life wasn’t always filled with so much promise. In an interview with Parade, Ben talks about the worst months of his life.

“I went to the University of Vermont because I had a kind of unrequited love for this high school girlfriend. She wasn’t even at the University but at another school nearby. But I thought if I went to a school near her, just maybe…I was really remedial about girls in so many ways. Interestingly, there are some parallels for things to come in my life.”

“Two weeks after I got there, I called her room,” he continues, “and some guy answered the phone! ‘Who is this guy?’ ‘He’s helping me study,’ she says. Sure.”

“Then, when I was playing an intramural basketball game, I fractured my hip. I was miserable,” he recalls. “I was now on crutches in the coldest university in America, living in the dorm farthest from the main campus, and I didn’t know a soul, nobody! I ate by myself in the cafeteria, and my girlfriend had a strange guy answering her phone! You laugh now, but I couldn’t even sit down in the cafeteria. I had to kind of lean over to eat. Things were quickly going sideways for me. It was the worst two and a half months of my life! I had to get away!”

“It was Thanksgiving,” he continues. “Obviously, things weren’t panning out. I hadn’t been to Spanish class in five weeks. I didn’t have a car. I called Matt. ‘You’ve got to pick me up! I can’t walk that well. Come and get me now!’ Matt was there in six hours. That was the last I ever saw of the University of Vermont. I never went back. I don’t think I have any credits. It was not money well spent.”

Cry, cry you little bitch. Seriously though. How many times has a college kid broken their hip? Ben is like some retard who can’t catch a break (har har). I should actually be pissed at Matt. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have had to sit through these piles of crap Affleck calls film. I could run toilet paper I wiped my ass with through a projector and it would be better than any recent Affleck film. I can see it now in Variety, “Turd stained tp bests Ben at Box Office, Affleck demands recount.”

  • AussieDan

    The problem with common sense is that it isn’t that common anymore, as evidenced by the reaction’s to Matt’s completely common sense position.

  • All_Hoes_Are_Good_At_Math

    is not up to you Erik, to say which type of sexual misconduct was “not as bad” and to establish if Dylan Farrow’s allegations are or aren’t true. Mansplaining sexual abuse to women, and given massive yet not surprising extent of what the #mettoo movement has shown to us. is safe to say all of us have been a victim of in one way or another. So no, not Damon nor you can explain to us was is “not as bad”. The women CK harassed have had their careers and lives derailed by his behaviour that you guys see as “not as bad” as rape. Of course they’re two very different things and nobody is saying that they’re equal. Who is saying they’re equal? becasue they’re being called out publicly? so CK didn’t “deserve” to be called out publicly? I’m not quite getting what’s that you and Damon are whining about? Rapist will get, hopefully, the law punishment they deserve. But also someone as CK committed a felony that actually could be prosecuted, you know? Also those giving pats in the butts are actually committing a felony, becasue its’ workplace and is unwanted sexual attention. That’s punishable by law. It has been tolerated for such a long time that you guys don’t realize is not just “not right” but is actually something the law punishes.

  • BlakeA5

    Saying that bad acts are on a continuum isn’t controversial at all. Saying this?

    “I think you can say that while also saying that maybe what Louis C.K. did wasn’t as bad or even that the allegations that Woody Allen molested Dylan Farrow probably aren’t true.”
    Is complete horseshit. Louis C.K.’s shit is incredibly bad, and he completely deserves what’s happening to him. But above all, if you think that Woody Allen probably didn’t molest Dylan Farrow, you’re either completely misinformed (which at this point, for anyone in media, is gross negligence) or you’re a monstrous asshole. Period.

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