Alessandra Ambrosio showed off her baby girl, Anja Louise Ambrosio Mazur, and, christ, that kid is huge. Her head is almost the size of Alessandra’s torso. Is it scientifically possible to be bigger than your mom by the time you’re one? Is it weird that the baby’s head looks like that of Tito Ortiz’s when he was a kid? And, wait, is that a faint outline of a mustache on Alessandra’s lip? Ack. What’s going on here? My penis has never been this confused.