Olivia Wilde should have kept her name

Under the impression that they’re still relevant, Maxim released their Hot 100 list yesterday and in a surprising twist, Olivia Wilde of House took first while Megan Fox of my pervy fantasies took second. With that, here are some facts about Olivia via PEOPLE.

1. She’s been typecast as a bi-sexual. She’s played on on The O.C. and now on House.
2. She’s married to an Italian prince. Sadly, no one cares about royalty there.
3. Her dog Paco won a contest to be a spokesdog for Old Navy. She named her dog Paco. Awesome.
4. She jumped 96 spots from last year’s Maxim Top 100 which should tell you Maxim just throws darts at a board to compile their list.
5. Her original name was Olivia Cockburn, daughter to journalists Andrew and Leslie Cockburn.

Wait, what?! She changed her name from Cockburn to Wilde after playing Gwendolen in Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest in high school? You can’t just throw away a golden surname like that. At least gift it to someone who could use it. For instance, Lindsay Lohan. She can be Lindsay Cockburn Lohan. Never has a word summed up a person so well.