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Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson might be moving away from Hollywood to shield their kid from the constant paparazzi.

“Once you have a kid it’s a little bit different. You’re more protective. You want them to have a normal life, or as normal as possible,” he said. We’re going to figure out moving somewhere that’s a little less (public). But we still got to be close enough where we can work.

“There’ll be too many paparazzi and you’ll get mobbed. You’re just trying to protect your wife or your kid. It’s just frustrating.”

Stop right there Pete. You had me at moving away. May I suggest the middle of the Pacific or a nuclear fallout shelter with no means of communication? If I start right now, I can pick you guys up and drop you off in the middle of the Mojave in under two hours. Can we do this sooner than later? The stench of douche has become quite overwhelming.