Shakira Attacked by Racist Sea Lion

I apologize for that alarmist headline. I do not know if in fact the sea lion was racist. Although it could have been. I mean, did anyone see it NOT sieg heil?

Anyway, Shakira was almost killed by a sea lion while visiting Cape Town, South Africa. Okay, maybe not killed, but she was almost almost bitten by one of these soulless beasts.

Shakira and her brother were on a tour in Cape Town last Sunday afternoon when they spotted these gentle aquatic creatures (hence the name sea LIONS). They thought it’d be a good idea to get up close and take a picture. Because this is always the first thought that comes to mind when you see a wild animal.

“Suddenly, one of them jumped out of the water so fast and impetuously that it got about one foot away from me, looked me in the eye, roared in fury and tried to bite me,” she wrote on Facebook. “I was paralyzed by fear and couldn’t move, I just kept eye contact with it while my brother ‘Super Tony’ jumped over me and literally saved my life, taking me away from the beast.”

Shakira believes the sea lion was confused by the shiny reflection of the Blackberry she used to take pictures. “It probably thought I was teasing it with food and then taking it away from it,” she said, adding that she and Tony suffered minor scratches on nearby rocks as they tried to escape. Sea lions have interacted well with humans throughout history, and attacks are rare and usually tied to territorial aggression. PEOPLE

Well, those two paragraphs could have been summed up to simply:

Sea Lion:  “COME AT ME, BRO!”
Shakira: “Ahhh!” *runs away* *falls on rocks*

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10 years ago

I like this. Please write more.

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