Go Home Reese Witherspoon, You’re Drunk

Reese Witherspoon’s husband, Jim Toth, was pulled over early Friday morning after cops saw him weaving in and out of lanes. While this sounds like your standard DUI arrest, it was anything but.

As officers gave Jim a field sobriety test, Reese, who was in the passenger seat, got more and more agitated leading the police to warn her to stay in the car.

“Mrs. Witherspoon began to hang out the window and say that she did not believe that I was a real police officer,” according to the police report. “I told Mrs. Witherspoon to sit on her butt and be quiet.”

Reese ended up leaving the car while Toth was being arrested. Cops told her to get back in her vehicle but according to the report, she “stated that she was a ‘US citizen’ and that she was allowed to ‘stand on American ground.'”

Reese was about two seconds from shouting, “‘MURICA!!” when cops grabbed her arm to arrest her. She resisted of course.

Not only that but little dagger chin played the “Do you know who I am?” card. Although, she asked, “Do you know my name?” The answer was, “No, I don’t need to know your name.”

Her ego inflated with one too many drinks, Reese was not amused because she’s a god damn movie star and everyone knows who Reese Witherspoon is. She told cops, “You’re about to find out who I am… You are going to be on national news.”

Usually, threatening police will always get you what you want but, in this case, however, it didn’t work. Go figure.

As for Toth, he told cops he had only one drink hours ago but when they adminstered a breathalyzer, he blew a .139. Clearly, he was lying unless the drink was served in a Big Gulp.

For what it’s worth, Reese released a statement.

“Out of respect for the ongoing legal situation, I cannot comment on everything that is being reported right now. But I do want to say I clearly had one drink too many and I am deeply embarrassed about the things I said. It was definitely a scary situation and I was frightened for my husband, but that was no excuse. I was disrespectful to the officer who was just doing his job. I have nothing but respect for the police and I am very sorry for my behavior.”

Surprisingly, the statement wasn’t signed, “Reese Mother F*cking Witherspoon.”