El Chapo’s Son Doesn’t Want to Negotiate With ‘Whitey Milkshitter’, Donald Trump

Donald Trump is getting Twitter bullied by Mexican drug lord Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman’s son. Probably deserves it with his track record of nice things he says about Mexicans.

El Chapo recently blew the coop at his max security prison facility and escaped through a mile long elaborately dug tunnel which would have taken years of prison infiltration, was fully ventilated, well-lit, and contained a motorcycle track (because walking out is for peasants). He was last seen kicking back with a beer on a plane, so basically he’s Carmen Sandiego. This self-shortened prison stint was thanks to an arrest preceded by a 13 year manhunt. For all intents and purposes we can just assume he’s back in charge of the Sinaloa Cartel. Good thing we’ve got Trump who’s recently humbly offered to negotiate with him.

Now with some backlash from what is allegedly El Chapo’s son, his recent boasting (he couldn’t even fathom the thought of Jeb Bush or Hillary Clinton talking to the notorious drug lord) seems as if it was maybe less serious than he made it seem. His current actions now non-literally say, “Come on, guyyyys, I was exaggerating! Pleasedon’tmakemefaceadruglord.”

Now surprisingly, El Chapo’s son did not immediately die of laughter from Trump’s filthy-rich-white-man inflated since of self tweets. In the backlash he threw back to Trump, he decided to share with his feelings on the possibility of negation. Here is it roughly translated from its Spanish Tweet:

“Keep f*cking around and I’m gonna make you swallow your b*tch words you f*cking whitey milksh*tter.”

(The below tweet is allegedly NSFW if you work in an environment with Spanish-speaking co-workers; I intelligently took French.)

Hairpiece took this threat seriously and rang up his close friends at the FBI but, additionally won’t back down… which is the essence of not negotiating.

“I’m fighting for much more than myself. I’m fighting for the future of our country which is being overrun by criminals. You can’t be intimidated. It’s too important.”

Basically, Trump is the most upsetting version of Batman. Oh also, he would still like an apology for his previous statements on Mexican immigrants because “look everyone they turned out to be true! Haha! Gotcha all!”

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