Now That the Internet Thinks Donald Trump Hired Russian Hookers to Piss on Him It’s All Over

By Isadora Teich January 11, 2017

Ever since that insider info about Trump being a Putin plant that allegedly paid Russian hookers to piss on him came out, the internet is having a great fucking time. Check out some dope jokes about our favorite human piss rag’s favored pastime.

George Takei has been wringing every drop of humor out of the situation.

You know, Trump never could pass up a golden opportunity.

— George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) January 11, 2017

Trickle down economics? Well, soviet.

— George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) January 11, 2017

That’s some solid gold. But he’s not the only one. The rest of Twitter is also having a field day.

Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah they were all yellow#GoldenShower #Trump pic.twitter.com/ens5gSovig

— Insónias em Carvão (@insoniascarvao) January 11, 2017

Donald Trump and Coldplay. Everything lame in one post.

The craziest part about Trump is he doesn't drink. Dude is having sober golden shower parties, that's wild

— Big Cat (@BarstoolBigCat) January 11, 2017

I almost wish he was an alcoholic. It would explain why he can’t form coherent sentences.

Wanting to watch prostitutes pee would be in the top 5 *least* disqualifying-for-president things Donald Trump has done, easily.

— Vince Mancini (@VinceMancini) January 11, 2017

That is very true. And also bigly sad.

even if this golden shower story is true it is absolutely none of our business what happens in the bedroom between Trump and his daughter

— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) January 11, 2017

SLAM FUCKING DUNK.

I 'm haaaaaappy again#GoldenShower #Trump pic.twitter.com/vYYZHl9ivX

— Insónias em Carvão (@insoniascarvao) January 11, 2017

I can’t wait to hang out with this guy in the Putin Trump Luxury Gulag when all the dissenters are rounded up for the work camps. He’s hilarious.

AMAZING.

Maybe R Kelly can perform at the Inauguration

— Lizz "Insufferable Wench" Winstead (@lizzwinstead) January 11, 2017

It's not often I miss doing a daily show but when I see #GoldenShowers trending I think….
maybe it's time to get back in the game.

— Craig Ferguson (@CraigyFerg) January 11, 2017

Pls come back Craig Fergs.

Patton Oswalt is also killin’ the game:

"Nothing to fear but fear itself." 1933
"Ask not what your country can do for you." 1961
"I didn't get peed on. I WATCHED them pee." 2017

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) January 11, 2017

Wolf Blitzer: So, for our viewers who aren't familiar…I should lie on my back now, you said?
Dominatrix (chugging Mountain Dew): Sure

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) January 11, 2017

SOMEBODY PLEASE MAKE A MASH-UP OF ALL THE NEWS ANCHORS SAYING "GOLDEN SHOWERS" LATER TONIGHT.

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) January 10, 2017

Thank you Patton Oswalt for being Patton Oswalt.

i have learned DOM TRUMP likes to be peed on and have considered writing tingler but peeing is not my preferred pound. i will think on this

— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) January 11, 2017

More like sub Trump.

Same. I’ll help.