Man With Nuclear Launch Codes Needs Daily Folder of Media Praise

Every day when President Trump wakes up, White House and RNC staffers present him with a folder full of headlines, tweets and screenshots from news programs that portray President Trump positively. And then in the evening, they give him another one. And after over six months, the president’s only feedback has allegedly been, “It needs to be more fucking positive.”

This is all according to Vice News, who also add that this so-called “propaganda document” may not have been Trump’s idea.

Another current White House official said that the idea for the twice-daily ego boost came from Priebus and Spicer, who competed to deliver the folder and be the bearer of the good news. “Priebus and Spicer weren’t in a good position, and they wanted to show they could provide positive coverage,” the official said. “It was self-preservation.”

In the two-plus weeks following the departure of both Spicer and Priebus, White House officials say, the document has been produced less frequently and more typically after public events, such as Trump’s recent speech at the National Boy Scouts Jamboree in West Virginia. It’s unclear what will change, if anything, once a new White House communications director is appointed to replace the briefly tenured Anthony Scaramucci.

I can see how having Trump in a good mood may be a good thing for the country. Maybe if he sees enough positive tweets he won’t start a nuclear war with North Korea. Hell, if it’ll keep Guam and California from total nuclear annihilation, let’s send Senator Al Franken to the Oval every morning to get Trump to say, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and doggone it, people like me” into a mirror. I suppose there are worse things to get stroked in the Oval Office than your ego, though, and at least Trump’s staff is only metaphorically blowing him.