The Bad Guys Win: Liam Neeson No Longer Doing Thriller Movies

Bad guys everywhere are about to kidnap so many children tonight because Liam Neeson has announced that he’s no longer doing thrillers.

In an interview with Sky News, Neeson says that he’s getting too old to be taken seriously as an action hero.

“They’re still throwing serious money at me to do that stuff. I’m like, ‘Guy’s I’m sixty-f–king-five.’ Audiences are eventually going to go, ‘Come on.'”

Ummm, Liam, no we’re not. Harrison Ford is 75 and we still go nuts when we see him as Han Solo. If Clint Eastwood wanted to put on a cowboy hat and get into a shootout with bank robbers in the West, we’d eat it up. Arnold and Sly are still kicking ass and taking names and no one has a problem with it. At least do the next Expendables movie, Liam.

While Liam will trade in his particular set of skills for more dramatic roles, he still plays a no-nonsense ass kicker in the upcoming films Hard Powder and The Commuter. Hard Powder is a movie where Neeson plays a snowplow driver who fights drug dealers. It sounds awesome. I assume The Commuter is about a guy who has a 2-hour commute to work every day and fights road rage.

After that, get used to seeing Liam in boring roles where he just stands around and talks about nothing.

I blame the Taken TV show for Liam’s change of heart. He gave us three amazing movies and probably would have given us more if television executives could come up with original ideas. Instead, they ripped off Taken, made a bad TV show, and Liam was like, “You’re not ruining my movie legacy with your shitty TV show.”

At least we’ll always have this scene:

That’s the greatest speech in movie history. If you disagree, I’ll make sure Liam Neeson kicks your ass before he retires.

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