I’ve never understood the appeal of beauty pageants. They’re self-serious to the point that satirizing them is almost too easy, and the women in them have probably been going on a pageant circuit since they were five or something. And those beauty pageants for little kids are super creepy, why are we trying to find the hottest nine-year olds?
The best part of any beauty pageant is the question round, where the normally brain-dead contestants are asked questions about current events so we can all soundly mock them when they say something stupid, like a decade ago when Caitlin Upton gave us this gem in the Miss Teen USA pageant, which I once recited while doing a Henry Kissinger impersonation for a comedy bit. True story.
I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh, people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future. For our children.
Well, at last night’s Miss America pageant, Miss Texas shocked everyone by giving a cogent and well-spoken answer to her question about the violent incident in Charlottesville and specifically Donald Trump’s statement that some of the white supremacists were “very fine people.” According to Uproxx, she gave this reply:
“I think that the white supremacist issue, it was very obvious, that it was a terrorist attack. And I think that President Donald Trump should’ve made a statement earlier addressing the fact, and in making sure all Americans feel safe in this country,” she said, to growing applause. “That is the number one issue right now.”
.@MissAmericaTX is up next and she will be answering a question from @MrJessCagle. #MissAmerica pic.twitter.com/WbSBx3c5Ul
— Miss America (@MissAmerica) September 11, 2017
As reported by TMZ, Miss Texas, Margana Wood to her friends, was not the only contestant to take a shot at Donald Trump. The pageant’s winner, Miss North Dakota, Cara Mund, said President Trump was wrong to pull out of the Paris Climate Accords. This was pretty obvious to anyone who has turned on the news recently as we’ve had two five-hundred year hurricanes in a week.
To be fair, Donald Trump is a pretty soft target. The only people less popular than Trump are Hillary Clinton and Yertle the Turtle. I’m sorry, I meant Mitch McConnell. I don’t know why that keeps happening. Normally I’d say it’s pointless to ask models like this about how we should handle world affairs, but this year’s contestants proved they understand the issues better than President Sundowning.