George H.W. Bush Accused Of Sexual Assault, But It’s Cool Because He’s Old

In the latest developments of “Creepy Old Men,” former President George H.W. Bush has been accused of sexual assault. The accusation comes from actress Heather Lind, who was posing next to the President in 2014.

Here is the photo in question:

As you can see, Bush is sitting in a wheelchair and his arm is clearly behind Lind. It’s impossible to conclude what his hand was doing, but the circumstantial evidence is there. Here’s what Lind had to say about the incident on a now deleted Instagram post:

“He didn’t shake my hand. He touched me from behind from his wheelchair with his wife Barbara by his side. He told me a dirty joke.”

Bush, 93, apologized (via a spokesperson) for the incident. Sort of.

“President Bush would never — under any circumstances — intentionally cause anyone distress, and he most sincerely apologizes if his attempt at humor offended Ms. Lind.”

So yeah, he didn’t actually apologize for touching her. He just apologized for causing her distress and her not understanding his sense of humor.

What’s weird about this, is a lot of people are defending Bush.

This is why I can’t wait to be old. They get away with everything. Your 88-year-old grandma is yelling racial slurs at dinner? She’s not racist. She’s just old. Your 90-year-old grandpa is groping women without their permission? He’s not sexually assaulting them. He’s just old.

Maybe it’s possible that Bush was trying to make a joke or that he didn’t know what he was doing because he’s old. But at least be smart enough to issue a better apology. Forget electing better Presidents, they should hire better public relations managers.

That’s the real issue in America right now.

And sexual assault. We should probably do something about that before women colonize.

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