Germaphobe Jennifer Lawrence Says ‘Dick Is Dangerous’

Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t like dick nearly as much as she makes it seem. While Hollywood’s It Girl likes to sound like a Tiger Woods-level sex addict, she told The Sun “I am all bark and no bite” when it comes to actually sleeping around.

“I always talk like I want dick, but the truth is when I look back at my sexual past it was always with boyfriends.

“I talk like I like it, but I don’t really do it. I am mostly also a germaphobe. I have made it this far without an STI. Dick is dangerous.”

Only if you don’t know what you’re doing with it. You really don’t want one going off in the wrong hands, it’ll just be a mess.

She adds: “If I was at the point where I could get an STI, doctors have already been involved. That is how much of a germaphobe I am.

“I am not in a relationship. I am making it clear that I have not had sex in a very long time. I would like to have a relationship, you know. It is hard out there.”

How hard can it possibly be if you’ve got a team of doctors running a battery of tests? You can’t expect someone to perform in those conditions; it’s why the pandas at the zoos never get it on. I’m only human, stop pressuring me! Also, I’m not sure I want Jennifer Lawrence going into dick withdrawal while she’s supposed to be fixing democracy. We need mixed member proportional representation, and we’re counting on you to get it for us, Jennifer.

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