O.J. Simpson Totally Did That S**t


Last night after dinner, I sat down to watch some of my favorite shows on Fox. Bob’s Burgers was a pretty good new episode about a new playground sport that takes over Wagstaff, but The Simpsons was really weird. it was just Homer sitting there telling some Fox News reporter about how he killed Marge and Flanders… I may have been confused, I’ve been a little under the weather, but I know someone named Simpson was on Fox at 8 PM confessing to killing his wife.

Right, it wasn’t Homer, it was O.J. Simpson and he was confessing to murdering his wife Nicole and Ron Goldman, a dude who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. You ever have one of those days where your car won’t start, the TiVo didn’t record your favorite program, then a customer forgets her glasses, you take them to her house on your way home and a Hall of Fame running back stabs you to death? That was Ron Goldman’s day.

It’s really interesting that at one point, Simpson just totally drops the third-person “this is my theory of what happened” act and just starts admitting he did that s**t until he catches himself confessing to murder.

The Pro Football Hall of Fame’s mission statement is “Honor the Heroes of the Game, Preserve its History, Promote its Values & Celebrate Excellence EVERYWHERE.” I would say that confessing to murdering your ex-wife on national television isn’t in line with the values of pro football, but I think we both know that’s not true. I’m just glad Simpson only killed his wife and didn’t do something really bad, like kneel while the national anthem is playing.

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