Cardi B and Offset Have a Baby for the Kulture

Cardi B officially popped on Tuesday. And in true “celebrities who are bad at naming their kids” form, her and Offset named their newborn daughter Kulture.

Because, sure, why not?

Now, despite being a horrible name, it does make some sense. Starting a girl’s name with a K has become a popular thing in society thanks to the Kardashians. Migos albums Culture and Culture II were both No. 1 albums in the last year and a half. And Cardi B has never been ashamed of her current or past culture.

Still, what a dumb name.

Why do celebrities do this? Name their children after colors and food and directions. It’s like they’re trying to give their kids a stage name the moment they are born. Let the kid decide if she wants to follow in the footsteps of her parents and become a rapper. Then she can call herself Kulture.

Anyway, congratulations to Cardi and Offset on the birth of their daughter. Hopefully they can get back to have marathon sex sessions.