In Another Universe, We Could Have Had a ‘Space Jam’ Sequel Starring Tony Hawk

If you were a 90s kid, you probably remember the movie Space Jam. This is the film where Michael Jordan teams up with Bugs Bunny and the Looney Tunes gang to save the universe by playing in a basketball tournament against aliens. If this sounds like someone’s pot-induced fever dream rather than an actual movie plot…well, it definitely is, but it’s still very much a real movie. And if you think this plot sounds weird as s**t, we could have gotten a sequel to Space Jam starring skateboarder Tony Hawk.

I’m not going to lie, despite its nostalgic cult following, I never liked Space Jam. I was nine when I saw this movie. It was a forced group activity with my girl scout troop (my membership with the girl scouts was likewise very much forced). To me, it was irritating and obnoxious. The Looney Tunes characters didn’t resemble the characters I loved on TV, and I felt like I had been subjected to a nearly two-hour long commercial (there is a s**t ton of product placement in this movie, it’s not even funny). I can’t imagine what kind of psychedelic nightmare a sequel would have been, but Tony Hawk has given me a pretty good idea based on his recent social media postings:

That’s right, if Looney Tunes: Back in Action hadn’t flopped at the box office, received scathing reviews, and ended Brendan Fraser’s career, we could have been treated to Skate Jam. There’s no indication as to what the plot was, but I assume it would just be a repeat of what we saw in the original film. Tony Hawk probably has to win a skateboarding contest against alien pod people, or they’ll eat Chicago. And cancel the Looney Tunes just to rub it in.

I’m sure Hawk was bummed about the project being canceled, but mother of god, I think I can accurately predict that this would this have been a fucking disaster. I know it’s disappointing to miss out on a cool million just for signing up but think of it this way, Tony Hawk, you’ve had a very fruitful career. Just ask Brendan Fraser how he’s been doing after being Bugs Bunny’s co-star.