Donald Trump’s Orange Complexion is the Result of ‘Good Genes,’ and That’s the Story He’s Sticking With

Donald Trump’s orange hue has always been a topic of mockery. I mean, can you blame, people? Trump is a detestable person all on his own, and his clearly unnatural carroty complexion just lends itself to additional ridicule. Maybe if Trump were a better and nicer guy, no one would care as much about his pigmentation, but sadly, that is not the world we live in.

There has been much speculation as to how Trump comes by his Oompa Loompa look. Nothing has been officially confirmed, but most theories are tanning beds, spray tans, poorly applied makeup, or plain old lying out in the Florida sun. Former FBI Chief James Comey said in his memoir that Trump’s face was “slightly orange, with bright white half-moons under his eyes where I assumed he placed small tanning goggles.” Former Trump aid Omarosa Manigault Newman likewise reported of Trump’s tanning bed use in her recent tell-all book.

However, according to a source in The New York Times (a senior administration official who would only speak under anonymity), the official word is that Trump’s orangutan complexion is attributed merely to the President’s “good genes.”

Right. If anyone out there believes this line of bull, I would want to know what the hell you’re smoking. I would ask you if I could have some of that stuff, but I don’t think I want to exist in whatever perpetual delusion you’re residing in.

Secondly, I think the term “good genes” is used incredibly loosely here, to put it mildly. If Trump is considered to be the pinnacle of what it means to be blessed with good genes, that’s not a reality I want any part of. Does anyone out there really think that having the same complexion as a decayed tangerine with cloudy white eye rims is a great look? Y’know, other than Trump?

We already know that Trump is Class A narcissist, so I’m guessing there’s no one to tell him (and be believed) how awful he looks. There’s almost something a little sad about someone who gets up in the morning, looks in the mirror, and thinks how striking he looks with an overripe carrot hue. “Almost” being the operative word here.