Maybe the most baller legal move ever is having to prove you got a concussion during a threesome in court. This is the predicament rapper Dave East found himself in during his trial for battery.
You see, around a month ago, Mr. East was having a threesome, as you do, when a fight broke out. Which is wild. I have never had sex that turned into a physical altercation. I have had really competitive sex where we tried to outdo each other but that just lead to a sore back and jaw the next day. My man Dave ended up with a concussion.
According to TMZ, that concussion was the key to getting his battery charges for his orgy brawl dismissed.
Dave’s attorney, Stacey Richman, tells TMZ … she submitted medical documentation showing Dave suffered a concussion during the altercation, and as a result, the criminal case against the rapper was dropped. Richman says that injury shows Dave did not instigate the incident, and “he attempted to responsibly quell the situation.”
Court records confirm the criminal case has been dismissed.
Everything about this makes me smile. Just to recap: East was having a threesome when a melee broke out, and proving someone gave him a concussion moments after he was inside of her helped him avoid legal penalties. That is a story you tell for the rest of your life.
As we reported … Dave told cops one of the ladies started hurling champagne bottles at him from across the room, and he claimed two made contact. Richman said Dave went for a CAT scan after the incident … and apparently the results showed he sustained a concussion.
Sounds rough. But the CTE risk isn’t as bad as playing in the NFL and getting your dick sucked by two women is less likely to cause a lifelong drug addiction to boot.