ESC

Rapper Dave East Has Legal Documentation Proving He Got a Concussion Having Group Sex

Maybe the most baller legal move ever is having to prove you got a concussion during a threesome in court. This is the predicament rapper Dave East found himself in during his trial for battery.

You see, around a month ago, Mr. East was having a threesome, as you do, when a fight broke out. Which is wild. I have never had sex that turned into a physical altercation. I have had really competitive sex where we tried to outdo each other but that just lead to a sore back and jaw the next day. My man Dave ended up with a concussion.

According to TMZ, that concussion was the key to getting his battery charges for his orgy brawl dismissed.

Everything about this makes me smile. Just to recap: East was having a threesome when a melee broke out, and proving someone gave him a concussion moments after he was inside of her helped him avoid legal penalties. That is a story you tell for the rest of your life.

As we reported … Dave told cops one of the ladies started hurling champagne bottles at him from across the room, and he claimed two made contact. Richman said Dave went for a CAT scan after the incident … and apparently the results showed he sustained a concussion.

Sounds rough. But the CTE risk isn’t as bad as playing in the NFL and getting your dick sucked by two women is less likely to cause a lifelong drug addiction to boot.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Latest
Load more