It’s John Boyega’s Fault We Were Almost Disappointed by the New ‘Star Wars’ a Month Early

Disney and JJ Abrams have really been going out of their way to keep details about the new Star Wars movie under wraps. If the leaks and rumors about it have any weight, that’s probably in their best interest. I’ve heard that Disney has tested something like 16 different cuts of the film and none of them have tested particularly well.

Probably the last thing they want to happen, then, is for say, John Boyega to leave his script for the film under his bed for his cleaning service to pick up and throw on eBay for under $100. Which, as The Verge reports, is exactly what happened.

“I was moving apartments, and I left the script under my bed,” Boyega said. “I was like, ‘I will leave it under my bed and when I wake up the next morning, I will take it and then move.’ But then my boys came over and we started partying a little bit. The script, it just stayed there. And a few weeks after, this cleaner comes in, finds this script and puts it on eBay for like 65 pounds.”

Partying, you say? That doesn’t sound like Disney-approved behavior, young man.

Luckily for Disney, a company employee saw the eBay listing and bought it before anyone else could, assuring we can all be disappointed with the new Star Wars movie on the schedule they have decided for us.

You want to read the latest rumored leaks to know just how bad this movie could be? Keep reading. Keep in mind these are unverified rumors and may be wrong, and even if they’re right they might not be the final cut. But this could all be real, so don’t read it if you don’t want  the spoilers.

The most recent leaks have Emperor Palpatine revealing that the reason he didn’t die in Jedi was he sent a clone in his place and Vader killed that. Yeah. And he has a new clone that looks like Matt Smith for some reason. And he kills the entire cast but Rey. Leia, Chewbacca, Lando, R2-D2, C-3P0 and Kylo Ren all get killed by Palpatine in this film. Then Rey takes the last name Skywalker after she kills him and his clone.

And that planet in the trailer is a third desert planet, not Tatooine or Jakku. Because we need more desert planets. Alderaan was such a juicy target because it’s the only planet in the galaxy that isn’t just a desert.