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Mariah Carey Sounds Like She’s in the ‘Ellen DeGeneres Sucks’ Camp

It’s time for another episode of America’s favorite game show, Who Hates Ellen DeGeneres Now?. You know it’s you love it and at least the answer isn’t just “homophobes” anymore. This was a much easier and less exciting game in 1997.

Today’s contestant is Mariah Carey, singer, skinny legend, incredible ass-haver, American Idol judge and star of the worst movie ever made.

So, will Mariah love Ellen or hate her? Does Ellen Glitter or litter? Would this game make more sense if you didn’t already know the answer from the headline? Let’s get a quote from Vulture to find our answer.

“I was extremely uncomfortable with that moment is all I can say. And I really have had a hard time grappling with the aftermath,” she says. “I wasn’t ready to tell anyone because I had had a miscarriage. I don’t want to throw anyone that’s already being thrown under any proverbial bus, but I didn’t enjoy that moment.”

This is in reference to a 2008 appearance on Ellen’s show where she pressured Carey to admit she was pregnant by handing her a glass of champagne and telling her to drink it if she isn’t pregnant.

Ellen seems to love to do this to celebrities, press them in person on the sort of rumors people like me report on and/or viciously mock them for. I’ve also interviewed celebrities in my career and I have found that it’s better to not be an asshole to them, but that’s just me.

Carey’s PA is also named Ellen, and Vulture’s profile of the singer had a funny exchange between the two that stuck out to me.

“Ellen, will you make us some ‘horse devoirs,’ ” Carey asks, intentionally mispronouncing the word. “That’s what we call ’em.”

The reason I like that so much is it’s a line from Neil Gaiman’s Sandman, the one comic book your NPR-listening friends will admit they’ve read, though Delirium (neé Delight) actually says “horse doovers” and not “horse devoirs.” Still, it makes Carey seem a little cooler.

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