Dwyane Wade’s Happy Birthday Instagram Pics May Have Traumatized His Children

Dwyane Wade is 39 and he certainly appears to have had a happy birthday. He showed us all how he was celebrating on Instagram, and the festivities did not involve pants.

Personally, I say good for him. It’s his birthday, he’s with his wife, this very nearly qualifies as wholesome content.

You know, unless you’re Dwyane Wade’s kids and you and everyone you know just saw your dad’s cum gutters on Instagram. Then it’s maybe not so wholesome.

Page Six pointed out Wade’s entire family commented on the picture and they weren’t as pleased a with his picture as he was.

“Ayooooo chill, I just got on,” Wade’s 13-year-old daughter Zaya replied.

“This isn’t what I wanted to wake up to,” son Zaire, 18, commented.

Union, 48, and Wade’s 2-year-old daughter Kaavia, who has her own Instagram account, also responded: “Thought I had more time before his midlife crisis.”

The good news is Wade’s 7-figure NBA contract means he can pay for all the therapy his kids will need after seeing this.

There’s a psychiatrist somewhere putting a down payment on a yacht called the S.S. Dwyane Wade’s Cum Gutters.