Kevin Spacey Thinks Sexual Assault Is Harmless Flirting

Decades after the infamous groper’s peak, 63-year-old Kevin Spacey remains confused why grabbing men’s crotches would land him in court.

Spacey’s in London testifying in court right now. While defending himself against sexual assault charges, Spacey wrote off allegedly forcibly touching one of his victims as harmless “flirting.” He insisted the unwanted sexual acts were gentle and romantic, not traumatic violations. Via TMZ:

It didn’t happen in a violent, aggressive, painful way…It was gentle and it was touching and it was, in my mind, romantic.

Reality check: nonconsensual grabbing and forced oral sex isn’t flattering or romantic – it’s criminal. But Spacey sees no issue with whipping out his baloney pony to terrorize random targets.

Spacey also feels backstabbed by the accuser. He hoped painting their dysfunctional relationship as “romantic” would get him off the hook. This reminds me of Dave Chappelle’s bit on Michael Jackson responding to Make-A-Wish kids – I can imagine Spacey pulling a “This was your wish, not mine!” to his victims.

Multiple men have come forward alleging Spacey forced oral sex and other sexual acts on them between 2001-2013. Spacey remains in denial, believing these targets regretted fooling around with him and are now falsely retaliating. I guess the moral of the story is you can forcibly mouth-hug whoever you want if you’re a big enough celeb.