Wesley Snipes

Upon landing in Orlando, Florida, Wesley Snipes has surrendered to authorities. He faces federal tax fraud charges and has been released on $1 million bail. The Blade star claims he has been unfairly targeted by prosecutors even though they found him to be in possession of questionable trust funds.

He’ll be allowed to finish filming in Namibia until he has to return in January to surrender his passport. If convicted, Wesley could go to jail for 16 years. Judging by how the system works, it’ll probably be a nice jail with a spa and tennis courts and $25 lunches. Like a resort with a bedtime. He’ll probably beat up some guy and rape him on the first day because he heard that’s how you establish dominance and not get ass raped yourself. The other inmates will say nothing like that happens in this prison and then Wesley will wink at them and say, “It does now.”