Angelina Jolie

Since September 2005, Angelina Jolie has been the model for St. John, whose “collections are largely comprised of conservative suit outfits and are wardrobe staples of women such as Condoleeza Rice and Hillary Clinton.” Yesterday, OK Magazine received word that it wasn’t working out and Angelina would be replaced.

“Putting celebrities in campaigns is the biggest trend right now, everyone is doing it, but it didn’t work for St. John with Angelina,” a fashion industry insider explains to OK!. “The people that wear St. John just didn’t relate to her.”

It’s weird that no one can relate to her. Even though I haven’t adopted African babies and don’t have a vagina, I have slept with a lot of women like Angelina — about five, at one time — and I get where she’s coming from. All those ladies that don’t relate should maybe think about having a threesome with me. You want to relate… don’t you?