Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson

Ashlee Simpson’s dad and boyfriend tag teamed a bouncer last night after said bouncer pushed Wentz into Ashlee. I tried making that sound as gay as possible. The altercation began when bouncers at Jet Nightclub did not allow his friend, Gym Class Heroes MC, Marc DeJesus, leave with them. Consequently, Pete went into bitch mode.

“What are you doing?” yelled Wentz, demanding that his crew be escorted to a waiting SUV. “This is my [bleeping] car! I paid for this [bleeping] car!”

After Pete’s body knocked Ashlee against the wall, the Fallout Boy attacked the bouncers. Joe Simpson came to Pete’s assistance and joined in on the melee. Joe said,

“When somebody messes with my baby, then it’s over!” Joe told us later, drawing his finger across his throat.

Oooo, scary. I hope I never run into these two in a dark alley. Imagining him and Pete Wentz trying to beat me up is like watching a kitten bite my finger. Probably not even that horrible because every 10 seconds Pete will have to take a break to reapply his mascara and Joe will try to look at Ashlee’s boobs.