Derek Jeter

Derek Jeter has plowed through a list of women so fine that if any man managed to get 1/10th of the people on that list, they’d die happy. Superstar over here has been linked to the likes of Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Jordana Brewster, Vanessa Minnillo and Gabrielle Union. Too bad he has herpes. That makes me feel marginally better. Anyway, when he’s not busy being chased by quality tail, he also has time for the common man, er, woman. Page Six was on the scene to witness the aftermath of a night of passion (threesome) with Derek Jeter.

Our spy in the lobby of the Shore Club in Miami early Sunday morning spotted “two scantily clad women screaming at the front desk because they had spent the night at Jeter’s penthouse and were then charged for parking.”

“The girls were wearing what looked like the same clothes they wore the night before – a tight cocktail dress and a mini-skirt. They were making a huge scene because they were asked to pay for parking.

“Obviously, they’d spent the night there,” giggled the onlooker, who noted that one of the overnight guests was screaming into the phone, “After last night, he’d better [bleep]ing take care of it!”

After a bit of insistence, “they eventually left happy. I assume he paid for their parking after all,” said our snitch.

Although Derek has a more exciting, fulfilling and awesome sex life than me, I found a Jolly Rancher stuck to my carpet today. It was delicious. I guess Derek and I aren’t so different after all.

Derek Jeter has herpes, Derek Jeter has herpes. If I keep repeating that over and over, I might not punch my monitor in a fit of frustration. Oops, didn’t work.