Helen Bonham Carter

Eight month pregnant Helena Bonham Carter wants you to quit giving her advice on how to take care of her fetus. More importantly, stop telling her caffeine will turn her baby into a mutant.

“People – particularly men – saying with surprise, ‘You’re still drinking caffeine?’ as if I’m performing a criminal act on my unborn as I tuck into my treasured one-a-day cup of tea/coffee. Yeah. You try nine months of gestation and self-abnegation before you start censoring my diet. Your mother was probably on vodka, and do you have three heads?”

If you were a guy, what would you say to that. Probably nothing because your mother was on vodka and now you’re mildly retarded. Check and mate, dumbass.