Rebecca Romijn

Jerry O’Connell, husband to Rebecca Romijn, realizes fate dealt him a pretty good hand which is why he tells USA Today he wants to have as many children as possible with Rebecca. Presumably to tie down the transgendered Ugly Betty guest star into a loveless marriage.

“We’re definitely working at it,” O’Connell says. “It’s never as easy as everybody thinks. It just isn’t. When you’re married to Rebecca, you should try to have as many children as possible,” he adds. “And I want to do that before she figures out that she could do a lot better than me.”

The question then becomes: If Rebecca Romijn brings beauty and, er, more beauty to the table, what does Jerry bring? A sense of humor? A full head of hair? Brains? Another quality that will be of little importance if the baby is a girl? I suppose she needs his sperm, but other than that, I don’t see Jerry contributing too much to this relationship. Sorry, Jerry. It seems your usefulness stops at opening the random jar and checking that weird noise downstairs which, for some reason, sounds like an un-medicated ex-con with a machete, a rope and a penchant for torture.