Demi Moore was on David Letterman last night where she took the time to share the secret to her eternal beauty. Ever the pioneer of cutting edge alternative nonsense for health and healing, Demi recounted the time she was in Austria to do a cleansing and part of the treatment was putting leeches on her body to detoxify her blood. Demi is convinced that it works and will be going back for more.

“It crawls in and you feel it bite down on you and you want to go, ‘You b*****d’. Then you relax and work on your breathing just to kind of relax.

“You watch it swell up on your blood, watching it get fatter and fatter – then when it’s super drunk on your blood it just kind of rolls over like it’s stumbling out of the bar.”

Miss Moore explained how she prepared herself for the leeches. “You have to do a turpentine bath first – that’s part of the therapy,” she said.

Thirsty: the actress says the little critters left her feeling ‘revitalized’

“The other thing I found out is that leeches don’t like hair so if you are hairy be prepared to do some shaving or waxing – they much prefer a Brazilian.”

Whatever freak. I’ll stick to the gym. My happy place where I can stay healthy and stare at girls’ asses in short shorts without being judged. Unless they turn around. Then I’m screwed.

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