Ali Lohan

If you’ve ever wondered whether or not receiving a proper education is tough when you’re Lindsay Lohan’s sister, then wonder no more because it is. Really. Just ask Ali and she’ll tell you. School was a nightmare. Some people are shot and stabbed, but Ali suffered worse. A couple girls once made a video of her and put it up on YouTube.

“They used disgusting words. Like if my mom ever heard me say that stuff, I’d be grounded for life! … They’re disgusting kids. I got really aggravated.” School authorities were notified, the 14-year-old adds, “and [the students] got suspended.”

Words that Ali and Dina consider disgusting include: Wal-Mart, Ross Dress for Less, Payless Shoes and public transportation. Ugh, I feel dirty just typing them. However, fear not. Ali is home schooled now where she no longer has to endure those real life Mean Girls or feign interest in cringe worthy subjects such as math, science and literature.

“You learn so much more — it’s just hard to focus when girls are giving you problems,” she says. “No one’s talking about you behind your back. It’s definitely easier.”

A sampling of her home curriculum being taught to her by her mother, Dina, are as follows: How to puke without requiring a friend to hold your hair back, how to tip off paparazzi of your whereabouts and knowing at what point in your career to flash your vagina (usually 6 months after you find yourself out of work).