Nick Hogan

Update: The Judge said this was no “accident” and sentenced Nick Hogan to eight months in Penellas County Jail starting right now. In addition, his driver’s license has been revoked for three years and he’s not allowed to drink, but that shouldn’t be a problem since he’s only 17, right? I’d feel sorry for Nick, but you’ll be surprised to learn I’m really against dumbass drunks who race their cars down the highway and paralyze people.

Nick and the rest of the Hogan clan arrived at Pinellas County courtroom where Nick plead no contest for reckless driving involving serious bodily injury. The Grazianos want Nick to spend a year in jail and Nick’s lawyer is considering it with 5 years probation. TMZ has a live stream going on and are live blogging it. Highlights include:

  • The State wants Nick to admit that this wasn’t an accident. Moreover, the prosecution — through the family — wants him to do 5 years of probation and 500 hours of community service,
  • And Ed Graziano continues, saying that he spends 10 hours a day at the hospital with John, and that John will spend the rest of his life with mental and physical disabilities. Hulk is peering over at the Graziano family. Ed says that when Nick went to the hospital to see John, he looked totally bored, and even shot dart guns and skateboarded around the hospital! OMG!
  • Ashley says that Nick’s license plate COEHSP stands for “Capable of Eluding High Speed Pursuit.” Not anymore.
  • The Hulk — Terry Bollea’s his real name — steps up: He repeats that John G. was “like a son” and that they went on family trips. Hulk says they sent John PowerBars to Iraq.
  • Hulk busts his own show: “People think it’s reality, but it’s scripted!”

You hear that? They sent him PowerBars! Not granola bars. PowerBars. Like a son. Come on judge, don’t be a dick. And that license plate doesn’t mean what she said it means. It means, uh, crap. I got nothing.