One big happy family

Charlie Sheen apologized yesterday for using the n-word in a leaked voicemail he left Denise Richards in 2005. The tapes were out for only a short while and pulled, but the transcripts remain on The Smoking Gun.

Yea, I just got your other email and I am a little confused because ahhh you told me that was something you only told a couple of people and this and that and I just again you continue to be deceitful and mischievous and sneaky and you’re a fucking liar. Okay. You’re a fucking liar so you know what it’s like….fuck you. Okay, I hope you rot in fucking hell. You’re a piece of shit fucking liar and I hope you fucking rot in hell. So fuck you. I hope I never fucking talk to you again you fucking cunt. Fuck you. You’re a coward and a liar and a fucking nigger alright so fuck you.

The Two and a Half Men released this statement:

“I deeply apologize by my choice of words to all I have obviously offended; especially to Tony Todd, an African-American, who was my best man at my first two weddings. And for the record, my children did not show up today for a custodial visit without explanation. So three and one-half years later, the reasons that caused the anger and frustration displayed on that voice mail continue to be manifested on a daily basis.”

Charlie is pretty clever to slip in the “my best friend is black” line because it’s a known fact that if you’re friend is a minority, you certainly can’t be racist. I believe it was Einstein who unequivocally proved it in some math equation.