Sarah Larson

George Clooney’s split with Sarah Larson was sudden and unexpected. Sarah thought she and George were going to marry, but George had other plans. Namely, banging a bunch of other women.

“She thought they were getting married. Instead, she got dumped,” a friend said. “She’s really upset. Devastated.”

“She’s totally heartbroken and doesn’t deserve this,” a friend said. “It came out of nowhere. They had made all these plans.”

Adding insult to injury, friends say, is this month’s issue of Harper’s Bazaar, which features Larson posed on a motorcycle, clad in Dolce & Gabbana.

The headline reads: “It Girl: Sarah Larson. Don’t hate her because she’s beautiful, fearless … and dates George Clooney.”

Hmm, marry Sarah Larson or bang a bunch of models each day of the week. This really is a tough decision. Let’s consult Captain Obvious. *Gasp* In an astonishing twist of fate, Captain Obvious says to go with the models. I am shocked. Just. Shocked.