Kelly Osbourne & Dog

Kelly Osbourne turned herself in to the police. She was charged with “common assault relating to an alleged incident in Soho in the early hours of August 29, 2008.” Kelly supposedly slapped Zoe Griffin at Punk nightclub because she made fun of her fiancĂ©, Luke Worrall, for not knowing what an earthquake was. Hint: It’s what Kelly sets off every times she rolls out of bed. Kelly told Zoe:

“I have an issue with you. My boyfriend knows what an earthquake is and everyone has been laughing at him and he’s upset.”

Kelly was released on bail and has a court date in March. Until then, she will continue lumbering around London casually terrorizing residents like the pasty white dog-eating monster that she is.