tiger-woods-crash

On Friday morning, Tiger, possibly high on pain killers, crashed his Escalade into a fire hydrant and then into a neighbor’s tree while leaving his house at 2 a.m. (photos of crash here). Tiger was believed to be in “serious” condition at first, but was later said to have only suffered facial lacerations. The initial story was his wife Elin Nordegren tried to pull him out of the car by breaking the windows with a golf club.

The updated and more believable story is he and his wife began arguing about a National Enquirer story which claimed Tiger was having an affair with Rachel Uchitel. The argument escalated and Elin scratched up Tiger’s face. Tiger tried to run away in his car, but his wife followed with a golf club and smashed his Escalade. Woods, distracted and on pain killers, went to check on the car while it was still in gear and it rolled away hitting a hydrant and tree.

Woods made a statement on his website giving no information as to what happened. He only said it was his fault. Meanwhile, Tiger’s alleged mistress Rachel has met with famed celebrity ambulance chaser, Gloria Allred, to discuss suing The National Enquirer. Rachel says the affair story is bullshit.

Tiger and his wife have also repeatedly turned down requests to be interviewed by the Florida Highway Patrol. The FHP knows their story doesn’t jive and want to see if the scratches on Tiger’s face match those he’d get in an accident. According to TMZ, the FHP is now seeking a search warrant.

Women are crazy. That’s the only explanation for scratching up your husband’s face and running at him with a golf club. Rational people don’t do that stuff. I’m surprised she didn’t literally shove her heel up his ass. And what’s with Tiger running away like a battered wife. Men don’t do that. If Chris Brown was involved, the crash site would be a lot different. Like, in addition to the crashed Escalade, there would be a beaten and unconscious woman lying by it with a golf club planted in her hand and the story would be she beat herself unconscious with it while trying to save him from the wreckage.