Avril Lavigne celebrated her 26th birthday at Wet Republic over the weekend and didn’t get into a bikini. Instead, she let Ashley Tisdale handle that. It was a complete catastrophe. Ashley looks so plain and flat. It’s like looking at a girl hitting puberty. I’m more turned on by a pastrami sandwich than this.
Back to Avril. She told PEOPLE at her birthday that she’s really into cooking and can make a mean bruschetta with all the kitchenware she bought from Hot Topic.
“I got some spatulas with skulls on them and some fun stuff for my kitchen,” she said of her birthday gifts.
“I swear to God, my family asked me what I wanted and I said I wanted a serving bowl and all these things for my kitchen. I asked for a stone plate to put in my oven to cook and crazy stuff like that.”
No bikini and talking about food. Ugh. At least Avril gave us a Photoshop worthy picture. You know something sexy is about to be cut and pasted into that hand. Something long and hard. I’m talking about my penis if you haven’t figured it out.