Ke$ha is Complex, boring

Ke$ha is in the newest issue of Complex and it looks like the studio didn’t have enough time to coach her on how to be shocking so she just winged it. She couldn’t even do that right. She ended up saying she’s turned on by homeless men who have bags full of quarters.

You’ve said that you’re not aggressive but you’re a pervert. What exactly did you mean by that?
Ke$ha: It’s totally true. Except I guess I’m a total perv in every way. Like everyone else, I have bizarre things that turn me on.

What turns you on that people would find bizarre?
Ke$ha: Um, quarters.

Really?
Ke$ha: Yeah, like a bag full of quarters.

So a guy holding a bag full of quarters could potentially turn you on?
Ke$ha: Like a big bearded guy with a bag of quarters. I think it’s some weird pirate fantasy that was unfulfilled in a past lifetime.

Is there a specific type of beard that you’re into?
Ke$ha: I like the rugged, mountain-man beard, personally. I won’t discriminate, but my favorite kind of beard is one that could potentially be a homeless beard. Like, you actually have to discover if they’re un-groomed for a reason. I like a really unkempt beard.

So you’re saying to have a shot with you, I would need a homeless beard and something to do with a bag of quarters?
Ke$ha: You would also have to have a big dick, and I don’t really know anything about that. Then you’re probably good to go.

At this point, even Ke$ha realized what she was saying was retarded, hence, the big dick comment. It’s hard to believe that the most outrageous thing that came to mind was Santa Claus with a bag full of quarters. She must be insanely boring in real life.

Well, I’ll work on the beard and quarters. Rihanna recently said that she “didn’t want the generic pop record that Ke$ha or Lady Gaga or Katy Perry could do.”
Ke$ha: I haven’t even read that. I’m so used to the media flipping my words around that I’m sure she meant absolutely no offense to me or Katy or Gaga—Rihanna and me are totally cool, we were just on tour together, and I know that she and Katy are good friends. I don’t take any offense because I’m sure it’s bullshit anyway.

They’re all known, at least in part, for their left-of-center outfits. You just wore garbage bags to an award show—is there a subconscious crazy-outfit competition going on among you guys?
Ke$ha: I was trying to look super-hot. I like to poke fun at when people make fun of me, because I don’t take myself that seriously. People say I’m “garbage chic,” so I thought I’d take it to the next level and make a garbage bag super fucking chic—and I succeeded!

At least when Lady Gaga wears ridiculous clothing, she makes it interesting. Ke$ha just throws on whatever is under her kitchen sink. Like a garbage bag. It’s a lackluster attempt at being shocking. That or her stylists must really hate her. They probably have an inside joke on who can make her look the most idiotic.