The NRA Held a Press Conference, Is Nuts

A week after the Sandy Hook shooting in CT, the NRA finally held the press conference everyone was waiting for. It was as glorious and nonsensical as everyone expected. At no point did any rational person think to themselves, “Hmm, Mr. NRA, you make a valid point.” NRA executive vice-president Wayne LaPierre was the one speaking at the press conference. Here’s a quick recap of what he had to say.

According to LaPierre, video games, the media and Obama’s budget kill people. Not guns. He even used decade old video games as examples. “There exists in this country, sadly, a callous, corrupt and corrupting shadow industry that sells and stows violence against its own people, through vicious, violent video games with names like Bulletstorm, Grand Theft Auto, Mortal Kombat, and Splatterhouse.”

Mortal Kombat as an example of violence against its own people. Really. There’s a 100% chance LaPierre has never even played the game before because this example only works when we start throwing ice from our hands, channeling lightning and saying, “Toasty!” when we blow someone up with a fireball from our mouths.

LaPierre also referenced movies from the 90’s like Natural Born Killers and American Psycho as violent films that influence or children. Adam Lanza was born in 1992. Natural Born Killers came out in 1994. There’s a good chance he’s never even heard of the movie.

But that’s not the most ridiculous part of the presser. That came when LaPierre came up with a solution to all our school shooting problems. He said, “the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun,” and suggested using retired police and military members to patrol schools with guns. He presumably said all this with a straight face.

At this point, it feels like the NRA is just trolling. There’s no way that they’re this out of touch with reality. It’s like they’ve cut themselves off from society by locking themselves in a bunker with all their guns only to emerge every few years to give statements whenever there’s a school shooting.

Naturally, LaPierre wouldn’t take any questions at the end because having people poke holes in everything you just said is booooring.