bud-light-platinum

This post is sponsored by Bud Light and obviously they want you to know about the new Bud Light Platinum sleek can. 12 ounces of triple filtered smooth taste. Wait, you saw the video too? Why am I explaining it to you then?

Anyway, I like to believe the can is for ergonomics and safety. When I hold a beer, I want to be secure in the fact that the container won’t slip from my hand and if it does, won’t smash onto the floor making a horribly embarrassing noise. Not from the bottle or can, but from me. Aiyeeeee!

It’s also nice that it won’t shatter into pieces causing everyone to turn around and shout at me, “Party foul! Drink!” C’mon, guys, I’m trying to be responsible!┬áThe fact that this comes in a 12 or 18-pack won’t help matters either.

On the bright side, all you have to do is bring one of these packs to a tailgate or party and you’re in.

Another advantage, you can bring these bad boys poolside without security stopping you and saying, “Sir, no bottles allowed by the pool. Sir, I know you can hear me. Sir, please stop running away.” Ugh, hate when that happens.

So to recap. The advantages of a can instead of bottle include: avoiding screaming like a girl if the can falls, the ability to drink responsibility, the ability to slink away without shame when it inevitably splatters across the linoleum, the ability to time travel to a land of dinosaurs, Superman-like powers. Wait, those last two weren’t advertised.