Sony Altering ‘The Interview’ to Avoid North Korean Missiles

Sony Pictures has decided to somewhat appease the North Korean government by altering their Kim Jong Un assassination flick, The Interview. Looks like someone’s afraid of a few horribly made rockets being launched in their direction. Pussies.

Sources say the studio is digitally altering thousands of buttons worn by characters in the film — which on Aug. 8 was pushed from October to a prime Dec. 25 release — because they depict the actual hardware worn by the North Korean military to honor the country’s leader, Kim Jong Un, 31, and his late father, Kim Jong Il (showcasing military decorations would be considered blasphemous to the nuclear-armed nation).

Well, that’s not too bad.

Sources say the studio is considering cutting a scene in which the face of Kim Jong Un (played by Randall Park) is melted off graphically in slow motion. Although studio sources insist that Sony Japan isn’t exerting pressure, the move comes in the wake of provocative comments from Pyongyang that the film’s concept “shows the desperation of the U.S. government and American society.” (Directors Rogen and Evan Goldberg are in fact Canadians.) An unofficial spokesperson for the rogue nation took issue with the satirical depiction of the assassination of a sitting world leader and on July 17 asked President Barack Obama to halt the film’s release.

And here I thought we’d finally be getting the North Korean dictator face melting scene we’ve been waiting for.

Meanwhile, a source says the decision to cut the buttons was due to “clearance issues.” Though it sounds more like they’re afraid of those rockets. Which they shouldn’t be. The reality is the most advanced weaponry North Korea has is pointing a finger gun at their enemies, going “pew pew pew” and hoping they’ll fall over and die.