That Time Henry Cavill Popped an On-Set Erection

This story embarrasses Henry Cavill, but it only motivates every guy to move to Hollywood. Cavill covers the Men’s Fitness September 2015 issue. He talks about his new movie, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. Most importantly, he reminisces about that time he got a hard-on during filming. Awesome guy, awesome. The Men’s Fitness interviewer wonders:

I ask him what every guy who’s ever watched a movie sex scene has wondered:  Has he ever found himself, er, unintentionally aroused on set?

“It’s only happened to me once,” he admits, ” and it was very embarrassing.  A girl had to be on top of me, she had spectacular breasts, and I hadn’t rearranged my—stuff into a harmless position.  She’s basically rubbing herself all over me and, um, it got a bit hard.  I had to apologize profusely afterward.  It’s not great when you’re in a professional acting environment and somebody gets a boner, is it?  No, not acceptable.”

“Not acceptable”? That’s why you get in the game, son! On-set boners and makeouts. It’s called an ‘ice breaker’. Something you and the co-star laugh away, but then, bring up during a drunken conversation later during shooting, which inevitably leads to real sex. This happens all the time in my mind. And I’m sure it happens in Hollywood.

“You don’t think of sex scenes as showing your bum to the nation,” Cavill says.  “It’s actually acutely uncomfortable being naked in a roomful of people.  The very last thing it is is sexy.”  He starts laughing.  “The actual physicality is very uncomfortable.  All you’re doing is smacking your nuts against someone, and nothing is going in.”

I think we’ve all been there with nuts smacking and nothing going in. That’s like, every single date I’ve had.

If you’re interested in a Cavill sex scene, here’s one from The Tudors. Maybe not the sex scenes he was talking about, or it could be. Lots of bodies slapping noises here, so obviously NSFW. Play at your own risk.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDQ5567mOos

Other interesting tidbits from his interview. Cavill was a teenage fatty that led him to be outcast. Well, duh, you’re fat. That’s worse than death for some people.

“They used to call me Fat Cavill,” he recalls. “I was a prime target for them. I actually had rolls of fat on me. One guy told me I had tits. I was a big eater, and I still love food. I’m still an indulger, in alcohol, in food, in all the things I enjoy in life. I’ve never been able to do things in half measures. That’s probably why I was fat as a kid. And yet as much as people made fun of me, there was no actual bullying. I was just miserable and homesick. Kids do love British boarding schools. You get to be your own person, and you grow by yourself. But I will admit I was quite bitter for a while. They also called me a ‘lemon’ a guy who gets nowhere with the girls.

Lemon, ha. That’s a good one. It actually refers to a loser, a simpleton, someone who’s worthless. Much classier sounding than dickface. Those British, always classying things up.

Another fascinating part of the article for all you acting geeks, Cavill met Russell Crowe on the set of Proof of Life. Cavill starred as an extra and found a moment to ask Crowe advice on acting.

During a lull in shooting, he approached Crowe for advice.  What was the business really like?

Well, said Crowe, sometimes they treat you really well.  Sometimes it’s s**t.  But the money’s good and you’ll enjoy it.  Then shooting resumed.  A few days later, Cavill received a care package containing Australian candy, an Aussie rugby jersey, and a CD by Crowe’s band–plus a photo signed with a message:  “Dear Henry, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.  Love, Russell.”  Cavill’s still got it.  When they met again a decade later on the set of Man of Steel, Crowe remembered the kid from the English boarding shcool

“It’s incredible,’ says Cavill, apparently still a little dazed.  “If you saw it in a film, you wouldn’t believe it happened.  But it did.”

Surprised that Crowe didn’t tell Cavill to f**k off and then throw a telephone at him.

What have we learned? You can be fat, but if you break into Hollywood, you can have erections with hot actresses, make tons of money and escape a dull life. Exactly why everyone moves to Hollywood.