The Blemish

Angelina Jolie is a catty homewrecker

By , 9:37 AM on Nov 16, 2009, 8 Comments

Surprised? According to US Weekly, Angelina has actively sabotaged Jennifer Aniston by planting stories about her in the press.

Brangelina: The Untold Story of and reports that , 34, waged “a mean-spirited but effective campaign” against Jennifer Aniston around the time that divorced her to be with Jolie.

Author Ian Halperin asserts in his book that Jolie and her camp (including her manager Geyer Kosinski and brother James Haven) planted press stories in 2005 that painted Aniston in a negative light. Specifically? That Aniston firmly prioritized her career over starting a family — which put her directly at odds with Pitt, who ached for kids.

Jolie, Halperin writes, “was convinced that this is the story that would resonate with all these women who saw her as a man-stealing bitch.”

Well, it worked, didn’t it. Now, we think of Jennifer Aniston as this pathetic shrew who can’t hold onto a man or get over . Aniston needs better and more ruthless PR people. I would spin Angelina as someone who collects children for attention and only does it to boost her reputation as some United Nations humanitarian.

Let’s get real. Aniston, despite all her faults, is way more genuine than Angelina. It’s better to really, really want to have one child as opposed to adopting ten of them just to fill a void.

C’mon Jennifer. Nut up and fight. Ready? “Team” on 3! 1-2-3 Team!!

Tags: #angelina jolie #brad pitt #jennifer aniston

Octomom resurfaces on Jimmy Kimmel

By , 11:17 AM on Nov 13, 2009, 4 Comments

Jimmy Kimmel Live had a bit where former Miss South Carolina Teen USA interviews Octomom. And I’ve never heard Octomom speak before. Two words: whack job. Her laugh reminds me of a serial killer. If she ever does get a reality show (or has she?), don’t expect The Girls Next Door or Jon and Kate plus 8. Think more Behind the Eyes of the Insane.

Watch the video and look for the shot of the 14 babies. I love how two nannies feed her babies while she’s off doing her motherly duties, i.e. filming tv segments. If I were those kids, I’d form an escape plan right now. Although, it’s gonna be tough to make any plans using only the words ‘ga ga’.

Tags: #nadya suleman #octomom

Carrie Prejean is an asshole and getting worse

By , 10:30 AM on Nov 12, 2009, 12 Comments

There’s only one defensible thing about and that is everyone has a right to express their opinion. If you think two gay men can’t have the right to be as miserable as heterosexual, married people, that’s fine. But don’t adopt a holier-than-thou attitude and don’t delude yourself into thinking you actually have something important to say.

Miss Uppity showed up on Larry King Live to push her new book. I’d give the title but let’s be honest, no one’s actually gonna read this thing. She’s 22 and the book is 256 pages. No 22 year old has 256 pages worth of thoughts I’d wanna hear. Anyway, Larry King kept after her on the whole sex tape/lawsuit settlement with Miss California USA. Miss Uppity couldn’t handle the questions which is understandable. After all, who asks “questions” in an “interview”. Prejean then unclips her mike and refuses to go any further.

Watch the video and tell me don’t have an insane urge to slap some sense into this woman. Someone should take the stick out of Prejean’s butt and beat her over the head with it.

Tags: #carrie prejean

Mike Tyson stays in shape by ko’ing photog

By , 4:13 AM on Nov 12, 2009, 0 Comments

Mike Tyson, still got it. Who says he retired from boxing? NY Daily News reports Iron Mike got into a scuffle with a photographer at LAX:

A source said Tyson…told investigators the photographer hit him in an apparent attempt to provoke him for a dramatic shot.

The 43-year-old Brooklyn-born boxer responded by dropping the guy with one punch.

Iron Mike literally bit the ear off Evander Holyfield in a match. He once threatened to eat his opponent’s children. Professionally trained boxers are scared of him. And this photog, with all the wisdom in his tiny little head, decides to provoke Mike Tyson. This photog, as a child, probably DID feed the animals, DID run with scissors and DID stick forks in electric sockets.

TMZ also says:

The photographer got punched in the face, hit the ground, got up and began walking, leaving a trail of blood.

TMZ forgot to add that he pissed his pants out of fear and left a trail of shit from getting the crap knocked out of him.

Tags: #mike tyson

Jessica Alba does not feel the sexy

By , 11:15 AM on Nov 11, 2009, 0 Comments

Ironic that everyone in the world finds Jessica Alba to be muy caliente. Everyone but Jessica. She tells E! that,

“I never feel sexy..I’m always wondering when my next break is…I want to call home and talk to my hubby or talk to my friends or check on my daughter. I’m never thinking I’m sexy.”

Oh Jessica, let me help you rediscover your sexy. You want the sexy? I can give you the sexy. It’s what I call me willie. Zoink!

Seriously, though, if nine months later a ten pound butterball squirts out, you’re not looking to try on miniskirts the next day. If I saw some creature appear out the top of my willie, I’d freak out and cry for my mama. Then, I’d wonder when this acid trip would end. Eventually, we’d end up talking about philosophy and the meaning of life. Point being, acid makes childbirth bearable.

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Tags: #jessica alba

Fergie loves ‘em big

By , 11:00 AM on Nov 11, 2009, 0 Comments

This *points upward* wants us to know about her sex life. Get out the doggie bags, it’s gonna be a rough ride. The Advocate interviewed and they pretended to be interested in her art and music, before hitting her with the gay questions. Because they’re a gay magazine. By gay, I mean gay gay. To which, we get:

I think women are beautiful, I’ve had a lot of fun with women, and I’m not ashamed of it. The problem is that I also love a well-endowed man. But just because I enjoy women doesn’t mean I’m allowed to have affairs in my relationship. I learned through talking with my therapist that it is still cheating even if it’s with girls, so there is a rule there.

So, loves a little swordplay. Because she’s a man you see. A man who likes well-endowed men. What’s more interesting “comes out” next in the article:

I’m guessing you made your first gay friend on Kids Incorporated.

Oh, there were plenty on that show. But I don’t want to out anyone, just in case.

Interesting aside, did you know Mario Lopez was on Kids Incorporated?

Tags: #fergie
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