Mischa splits from Cisco over his saggy balls

Update to the update: Us Magazine says they split again. Going back to this saggy ball story makes me nauseous.

Update: Saggy balls trump all. Cisco and Mischa didn’t break up over his junk. Cisco says she still wasn’t too thrilled by it.

Mischa Barton has ended it with Cisco Adler after the nude picture of him (NSFW and wrong) with his saggy balls surfaced in the raid on Paris Hilton’s storage locker. Us says,

“They had a blowup. She was furious.”

Mischa Barton made a pretty good move there. Having children with the same saggy ball syndrome would be frustrating. They’re liable to get caught in between the slats of a park bench. Just how many times do you need to tell them shorts and boxers are a lethal combination?

Note: I’ve been thinking the whole day that by blowup they meant her friends gave her an actual blowup like in a life size cardboard figure. Now I realize they were talking about blowup as in fight. My version is much cooler, but the other version is less disturbing.

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17 years ago

His Bs are bigger than his C and there’s coke on the table. And when I say that his Bs are bigger I mean they swing so low that you could tie them in a knot!!!!

Louis Anthes
8 years ago

Testicle sex is an underrated yet exquisite bliss — I highly recommend it, as often as possible.